Four Weeks Post OP

It's four weeks post op and things are going fine. Quite unbelievable that the weeks have passed by and that there have been no major issues regarding the after effects of surgery. Healing quite well. 98% of stitches healed. 2% still to go. Have been phoning the nurse as I seem to have sprung a leak. Can be scary as I thought I had an infection. She told me no fever, no major redness, all is well, I am still draining. Thank goodness I was worried. Can't wait to be all healed up so that I can go swimming at the pool again.

I've been doing a whole lot better since I have started using Zero Carb Isopure to get my needed protein in. One will never realise how hard it is to get fluids in until you have to sip. I now sympathize with unburped babies. If I forget to sip, I pray for a burp to relieve that uncomfortable feeling. Was forgettting to sip so I bought a baby sippy cup and practiced with that for awhile. I do once in awhile forget to sip and gulp down a drink, then quickly regret it. No dumping yet, but an immediate yearning for a burp.

No one warned me pre-op that I would have to change my sleeping habits. I slept on my side pre-op. Post-op had to be on my back, going on my side was difficult and sore as ever. Boy, I struggled with that the first two weeks after WLS. I took the pain medicine just so that I could sleep on my side. Your stomach feels like it weighs a ton the first weeks after surgery, I guess cause it's all swollen and healing, thus sleeping on one's side is a task. Well, sometime last week I could finally sleep on my side but very carefully. Also turning from one side to the other, I have to take my time. I phoned my friend Brenda and asked her how she slept after WLS and she told me she slept sitting up for several weeks. Well, I am sleeping on my side again not 100% comfortable as there are a few twinges if I move wrong but I do get by.

I'm really happy that I purchased one ounce plastic cups to measure my food out and the pretty Japanese plates and baby spoons. They have made my meal quite easy to deal with. Presentation is important. Colorless turkey, tuna and even cottage cheese look appetizing in my pretty little dishes. When I go out to eat I take my little dishes and my baby spoon. I don't care what anyone thinks about it, this is my body, this is how I eat. Anyone have issues about it, it's their problem. I'm sure they had issues with watching me load my plate and stuff my fat face about 27 days ago. This is about me, not about them.

For breakfast I have been having scrambled or boiled eggs with a little tuna, salmon or shrimp mixed in. I have to puree my foods. If things are cooked right don't really have to puree just mash up to puree consistency. I also either have some plain yogurt or small curd cottage cheese or applesauce for breakfast.

For lunch I have maybe some leftover from breakfast or turkey, chicken, fish, tuna or salmon with a baby spoon of lowfat mayo or even make egg salad. A fruit mostly and sometimes a vegie.

For dinner, chicken prepared different ways, shrimp or fish. Vegie. I'm having an issue with beef, I picture it fermenting in my new tummy and that is enough to keep me from eating it even if I could puree a lean piece of it. I think picturing one' s new tummy as being special like a treasure chest, one will be more careful of what one puts into it.

Snacks. I peel about 5 grapes or cherries. Make sure I remove the seeds. Or small cubed watermelon, or honeydew melon.

As you see, I am eating. Measuring everything out, and still feeling satisfied. I keep remembering Kim advising me to stop grieving over food I think I won't be able to eat and enjoy what I can. I remember pre-op when three weeks prior to surgery I was literally eating gallons of ice cream and other stuff that I thought I would not be able to eat any more. It finally dawned on me that if I kept it up I'ld be too sick to have surgery and stopped. I didn't even have a last supper. I must be doing something right cause so far, no dumping, no sore tummy.

Exercise. I have been taking short walks. For two days while my husband swims at the pool, I walk around it, stopping when I get tired, rest, then walk again. I don't push myself. I thought I was superwoman and didn't need to nap. Wrong. When I don't nap my back hurts, my stomach hurts, I so tired I can barely move.
Thus, naps are a must. Need to nap, to help my body heal. Soon as these stitches heal I'll be back in the pool.

I have lost 33.7 pounds since date of WLS 12/02/05. Life is wonderful. I wish I had gotten this surgery earlier.

Melissa

This is a picture of me in our front yard.

Date of surgery 12/02/05 : 349.7 pounds

Today 12/29/05: 316 pounds.

Yeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeehaw!!


Check out those skinny legs !!

Fat People

Okay, now I find myself looking at fat people differently. I look at all the fat, the way they walk and how they dress and tell myself that is me, but soon will not be me. It's even worse when I see an obese person eating and their plate is filled with food and they are literally gulping it down. I can't believe I used to eat that way. I was killing myself with food just like they are. Can't believe that was me, too.

I'm feeling sorry for them cause I know how it is to be fat. I know the struggles. I know the self disgust. I know the hurt when kids point and say "look at the fat lady". All of a sudden where ever I go there's lots and lots of fat people. I never really noticed before or really took the time to look. I pray that I will still be compassionate and understanding to the challenges of overweight people when I reach my goal weight.

Let me not become like those who have looked at me in disgust, or snickered behind my back or said hurting things about my weight. Let me not forget what it is like to be obese. Goodness I hate that word obese.


Meliss

Today is my anniversary, we've been married 34 years. Hubby fell in love with me when I was Twiggy size. Stayed with me as I blossomed through four pregnancies. Told me he loved me when diabetes and hypothyroidism and depression kicked in. Told myself I was fat fat fat and how inthe world could he handle all this fat. He told me he loved me no matter how fat I got. He held my fat hand in public. He bathed my fat body in the hospital and at home when I couldn't reach all over. He was my caregiver.

November 12, 2003, that all changed. While delivering mail, a woman sideswiped his mail truck and my husband was critically injured. His neck was sprained and he lost his memory. He was as a 7 year old boy. He was afraid of strangers and clung to me like a child and panicked when I was not around. I had two choices, get myself well enough to take care of myself and him or eat myself to death in despair and depression. I chose to get myself well, no matter what it took. I didn't have time to be sick, my fat was irrevalent, I had to do what I had to do. As my husband got better, I was stressing from working and caring for him. On December 2, 2004, I drove myself and him to the doctor's, told him I had to see the doctor. Went in and they couldn't find my pulse, don't ask me how I got there, I don't know, God drove. Administered oxygen, I had enough in me for me to call my sis to come get my husband, I was fighting with the paramedics over my cell phone as they tried to put the oxygen mask back on my face. I was taken by ambulance from the doctor's office to the hospital. I was fighting with the paramedics cause they wouldn't let my husband into the ambulance.

I was 382 plus pounds and dying. I wasn't ready to die. Who was going to take care of my husband? The kids? No, they all on the mainland and they have their own lives. I had to get my act together, this was my last chance at life. Took leave from work. Thus Medifast and preparation for WLS immediately upon leaving the hospital. I worked hard to be well enough for surgery. Spent the whole year preparing my husband for the surgery. He is able to take care of himself, his memory is partially back, still dependent on me though. He now is medically retired from the post office. Nothing was going wrong I told myself. Everything will be fine. I needed to get physically well. For me.

Thank God I came through WLS fine. Yeah, I had to stay in ICU for two days due to high blood pressure. It was high before the surgery, the doctor told me that I could have a stroke during the surgery because of it, I told him to do the surgery, I'll be fine. I'll have a stroke if it's meant to be. Came to in ICU and was pissed cause it was not in my plan, it was supposed to be recovery then my hospital room. The high blood pressure I believe was because they wouldn't let my husband in to see me. As soon as my eyes opened and I realised where they had me, I was asking them to unhook me and let me out of the bed, I wanted my husband, I had to see that he was okay. I was the patient from hell until they let him in. Wallah, as soon as I saw him my blood pressure started to lower and I let them do their thing.

Regrets. None at all. I have life. That is worth every stitch on my belly. A longer life with my hubby. A longer life with my kids and grandkids.

Every day I wake up with a burst of energy, feeling hopeful and just so happy to be alive. Many new dreams of what I would like to do in the years to come. Heh, the sky is the limit with the new body I will have. Slowly my diabetes is getting better and my blood pressure is improving. Sleeping better now too. I am not going back to the fat ole me, to the fat life that was killing me. God has given me another chance at living and I am going to make the most of his precious gift to me.

It is truly a Happy Anniversary for me and my hubby.

New life. New me.

Melissa

320 pounds

My dad said my face lost it's chubbiness and soon he can hug me good. Dad's are wonderful. He's 75, walks his 10,000 plus steps every day, watches what he eats. Maybe I now get chance to live 75 and over now. My legs are skinny. I always looked like an ostrich, big tummy and skinny legs. But now these legs are even skinnier.

Thanks Kim I needed to hear that the feelings I am having are normal, this being in a daze. I trust that things will get better when I can believe I had WLS and this is not all a dream. This is for real.

Went out to breakfast with my husband this Christmas Eve morning. Ordered my favorite seafood omelet. When it was placed in front me, I couldn't get over how huge it was. Imagine I'ld swallow it all with a side of waffles. Asked for a takeout plate. Cut off 2 oz. of the omelet and the rest went into the bag. Instead of waffles I had ordered honeydew melon, left out 3 small pieces and the rest went into the bag. Mashed up the eggs and fish/shrimp with my fork and chew chew chewed like a good WLS post op should. Enjoyed my breakfast. Right now the takeout plate is in the fridge with enough food in it for at least 3-4 meals. Heh, I feel like a champ. I didn't deprive my husband of going out to eat because of my issues. All I got to do is focus and remember my way of eating is different now.

Went to the mall after breakfast to catch some Xmas sales. Bought myself a beautiful angel. I collect angels, but haven't bought myself one for a long time. Got tired though so had to get out of the crowds, had my trusty sippy bottle with me. At least I wasn't huffing and puffing and bumping into people.

Tomorrow is Christmas lunch with my sis, her family and dad. I usually go the mainland to be with my children and grandchildren. Not this year due to the surgery. There are a few Hawaiian and local dishes I can chew chew chew and not feel deprived. One thing about living in Hawaii at gatherings there is a mixture of all kinds of foods. Told myself I just want to be with the family, talk story and have fun. They are supportive of my WLS so I know I will be fine. They were so worried about me and my poor health that they all see WLS as a blessing for me. My sis is heading down the road with diabetes and stuff like I was and is now thinking of getting the surgery.

Mele Kalikimaka Merry Christmas
Hauoli Makahiki Hou Happy New Year

Meliss

3 weeks post surgery

It's 3 weeks and I am still stunned and walking around in a sureal world. I think it's silly but I am kind of afraid that something will go wrong. Keep waiting for these stiches to burst, I guess. Trying to figure out why I deserved to make it through surgery, let alone recovering right now. Some have called me brave, I don't think I was brave. I just did it. And now trying to deal with my choice. It's just so unbelievable that my fat is melting away, I had tried and tried before and not one ounce would budge. I am still walking around in a daze.

Have to keep reading the LWLS site and site's like Sandi's just to reconfirm that I now am postop. Keep glancing at the stitches. Having problem getting the protein shake down and sipping sipping water. Like Sandi said it's a new routine, a new way of doing things, not impossible just got to find the routine that works for me.
It is just so wonderful that there is a slew of you who are doing very very well post op and even better to know that Anna is doing fine. Her story really put me in a spin of worry. I tend to be a worry wart and if I think too much I can really mess myself up. Got to concentrate on the positive side of WLS surgery.

My surgeon, John Balfour is 77 years old and looks like 55. He is the best surgeon for this procedure in Hawaii. Well, he has the years of experience. He told me that all I have to do is follow the rules, listen to the dietician and all will go well. He holds your hand and looks you straight in the eye as he speaks. You can't help but believe him. I entrusted him with my life. He did his part now I have to do mine.

I have been walking each morning this past week. I think I have been pushing it cause last night my tummy was tender and my back hurt. Can't over do it, not superwoman that's for sure. No problem with meals, so trying to get in as much protein in them since I having hard time with the shakes. My sis had me sip some of her Crystal Lite Tea, tasted good, so I'll add it to my water and see if the sipping gets better. Will nap today and maybe walk this evening. I do feel weak and tired and it's only 9:30 am.

This dazed sureal feeling, normal?
Meliss

Avoid Grieving For Foods

WLS Kaye advised:

"remind ourselves that these very foods we have loved and lost were not our friends. These foods were killing us. These foods caused us to be morbidly obese. Prior to surgery a morbidly obese person is dying a slow death by over consumption and malnutrition. Poor nutrition and excess weight taxed the cellular structure of the body causing illness, pain and suffering. Weight loss surgery was a last-ditch effort to save a life and restore quality to living.Say goodbye and good riddance to those poisonous foods. They are not part of your life any more and isn’t that a blessing? Isn’t that exactly what you wanted when you elected to save your life with weight loss surgery?"

Put Kaye's advise on a card so that I can glance at it 24/7. Woke up this morning with determination to make this journey easier on myself and not let that fat little devil sitting on my shoulder lead me astray. Remember those cartoons where there would be an little person with a halo, on one shoulder and a little person with horns and wicked grin, on the other, and they would be fighting each other to take over the person's mind. My psychologist should really love this one. Well, apparently my little people really went at it alot and that fat little devil won all these years. Well, that fat little devil is going to lose some weight! No more is she going to lead me down the road of destruction.

Taking some old pics of mine and taping it around this computer. I feel different. I feel lighter. No water retention in my legs. I don't want to become obsessive about things, but I keep having to look at my stitches to make sure I went through surgery. I've never been girly girly. I'm not the cheerleader type. Jeans and a t-shirt made me happy. Now I ponder on how I will dress in the near future. It's exciting. I'll be 55 years old next month and the world is at my door step. WLS opened the door, now all I need to do is step through. No not step, run through with no regrets.
Here I come world, the new me.

Meliss

Went walking in the mall today. I think I better stick to Home Depot. My dear husband stood in front of Ms. Fields Cookies and I looked at this slice of double fudge brownie and actually swooned over it. My goodness, I am still human, WLS did not remove those awful tempting thoughts. I could actually taste the brownie.
Here are my stitches still fresh and barely healed and my mind going bonkers.

So what did I do. Walked away as fast as I could, telling myself that brownie was the poison that made my body fat and unhealthy. It was so scary. Came home and have been reading our WLS site and several personal blogs. Talk about needing major support. Ate some pureed turkey and cottage cheese and gave my body what is good for it. I know for sure that I can not go on this journey alone. Thank goodness for the support sent my way by those of you who know that this journey is not an easy one.

Best start getting serious with counting calories,carbs and not letting my guard down. Finding better places to exercise. Staying on track. Looking forward to wearing a nice pair of jeans. Shopping for pretty little things not Ahab the Arab tent outfits. A new healthier me.

Meliss

So nice to be home. Sleeping a whole lot better. Went to the grocery store for a little while, still get tired easily. Shopping for food is sure different, but had no yearnings for anything. I think I am still dazed by the surgery and still walking in a dream.

Find myself always looking at the stitches to make sure I really did it. I really can't believe that the surgery is over. The days of the surgery seem so unreal. The days ahead are exciting, I look forward to being a lighter person. WLS is a miracle. I try to picture myself on that operation table and find myself amazed that I actually let the surgeon do to me just as I watched on a video. We WLS people have got to be the bravest people on this earth.

Regrets? None at all. Maybe I would have lived my life a little different so that I wouldn't have had to have the surgery in the first place. But I didn't and now I have a chance to correct all the wrong things I did to myself. A second chance to live a healthier life. Thank you God for guiding my surgeons hands and giving him the knowledge to perform this surgery. Thank you God for watching over me. I feel like a new born person.

Meliss

Post OP 14 days

I am finally home from Honolulu. These past two weeks have been sureal. Still in kind of a daze, maybe sleeping in my own bed for a few more days will make this all seem real. I am post op, I have joined the WLS sisterhood.

349.7 day of surgery. 327 today. Miracle of miracles. Worth every minute of apprehension, panic attacks and off the wall crazy thoughts prior to surgery. Surgery not a piece of cake, but manageable. Peeking at my surgery scar every chance I get just to make sure I really did it. Staples came out yesterday, things looking just fine.

At meal times, I pull out my pretty tiny Japanese dishes and baby spoon. I have been using those tiny 1 oz. plastic cups to measure out my food. You can really stuff alot into those cups............smile. Pureed foods, chicken, cottage cheese, plain yogurt, egg, pureed progresso soup and some local dishes like Chicken Papaya Stew. I've been doing okay. Taking it slow. Sipping, sipping, sipping. I water down the protein drinks so get some extra fluid from there too. Tried Baby Food fruit, can't stand them, so it's applesause and globe grapes. I actually peel the grape, take the seeds out and chew chew chew. A nice sweet treat.

I have been walking a little each day. I get all clammy and sweat buckets if I over do it. My diabetes still adjusting itself. I am popping glucose tabs like m & m's, have to montior myself constantly. I'm not complaining believe me after ten years of insulin shots, a miracle is taking place in my body. My endroconologist is very elated. From 120 units of Lantus and 3-4 shots of 70-80 units of Humulog a day, I now take 60 units of Lantus at night and that is it. From uncontrolled insulin dependent diabetic, I am going to be inuslin free soon. This surgery is a miracle for diabetics.

Thank you all for the get well wishes and prayers. Napping is high priority between sipping. Smile.
Meliss