Big Grandma Not Big Any More

Monday, August 28, 2006

8 months 3 weeks Post Op Unbelievable how time has gone by. I couldn't wait to get back from the gym today just so I coud blog away. It felt so good returning to the gym after being away for over 3 weeks. Did water aeorbics today, the water felt great and relaxing. Walked couple of laps and then got into the aerobics class. Afterwards went to Lowe's and walked up and down the aisles. Bought a small table so I have something to do my crafts on and two lamps that was on sale. I just feel so upbeat today................well this great feeling started first thing this morning. I put on my bathing suit and it was so baggy and big, the straps literally fell of my shoulders. There was no way I could wear it to the gym pool. I was so giddy with amazement, showed my husband what I looked like in the saggy baggy oversized bathing suit, I needed a witness to this momentous occassion!
So of course when I got to the gym locker room the first thing I did was get on the scale. I had to get off and get on several times, cause I was sure as hell it wasn't me being weighed.
Day of WLS 12/02/05 : 349.7 pounds
Today 08/28/06 : 227 pounds
Goodbye forever : 122.7 pounds
I didn't gain weight these past 3 weeks !!!!!!! I lost weight. Can't believe it. Except I did do alot of walking around and I never could seem to keep still chasing after my 5 grandkids.
Got to stay on track. I hear you Sarge Kim, this does not give me the okay to go out and buy any pretzels. I have cut down to one fruit a day but I have to go to at least 2 cause I am getting constipated even if I sip alot of water. Fruit is my savior. I think it was all those pretzels that affected my blood sugar, that and the jumba juice and the mocha frapaccino's with whip cream. Nevah confess about them, yeah, I know, bad girl. Was so hot in Vegas I started sipping my daughter in laws and next thing I knew I was ordering my own. It was not only my fruit which I have lived on basically since surgery that caused my blood sugar to soar. I got to own up to my having made bad choices in order to be a success on this WLS journey.
Depressed? Hell no. In fact I'm going to go to the mall and walk around and look at clothes that I'll be able to wear in the near future. I can't remember when I last weighed 227 pounds. I just want to shout out to the world...............look at me!!!!!!!!!

Wednesday, August 23, 2006

PROTEIN....SIP SIP SIP Back on the wagon. Munching on cucumbers. Thinking of how far I've come. Did so much this past 3 weeks. Had tons of energy. I could actually keep up with my 5 grandkids. My son kept saying "mama you sure you can do that?" as I went zipping around picking up after the kids, cooking, doing laundry and all those millions of things you have to do to keep up with 5 kids. I did okay when we were at the hotels and the theme parks, it was when I drove that I keep munching, to stay awake, to beat boredom, to keep unstressed from driving unfamiliar traffic. Pretzels, hard candy, pretzels, fruit, pretzels. It's 7-8 hour drive from SA to El Paso, sleep over, then 6-7 hours to Phoenix, sleep over then 4-5 hours to Vegas. Stayed in Vegas 5 days visited with my dad, sisters and brother then drove to Santa Barbara where my oldest son coached at the Michael Jordan camp, 4-5 hours. Stayed in Santa Barbara 3 days, then drove to LA, stayed two nights, visited Universal Studio. Then drove back to Vegas. Stayed with my son 8 days, then drove back to SA, stopping in Tuscon overnight, then stayed in El Paso two nights. I have to do all he driving as my hubby no longer can. I don't moind at all, but I have this need to munch when I drive. So I munched my way round trip. Actually looking forward to jumping on a scale and checking to see how much I weigh. I hope the damage is not too bad. I really walked alot in these past three weeks so hopefully I walked off all that munching I did while driving. When I drove from El Paso today I munched mostly on ice cubes........stopped every so often to fill up my cup with more ice. It helped curb the munching. I munched but not as much as I did whenever I drove these past two weeks. As I drove through the desert, I kept reflecting on my life and how it has changed for the better due to my having WLS. The scenary was so beautiful. I think I'm going to start collecting some cactus, I just never realised now many different kinds there are. Well the packers come tomorrow and I will be busy unpacking. I guess when I see my stuff, I'll truly believe that I have moved here and this is not a dream. I was getting used to living in this empty house. I can't wait to unpack my craft stuff and do some crafting. I will succeed in my life after weight loss surgery.

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

NEED TO GET A GRIP Haven't blogged awhile. Paying the price for it. There is no taking vacation from Living After WLS. I have absolutely lost my mind. Lost a 100 pounds and then stupidly acting like, okay I'm done with this. Yeah right. Here I am injecting myself with insulin again............trying to bring the numbers down. What next, heh..........congestive heart failure again and all the symptoms of diabetes and .........a huge surgercal scar, a rearranged stomach done for what??????? I must be losing my mind. Big wakeup call today when I crossed the border to Juarez. Pulled out my passport and looked at the picture of 400 lb plus me taken two and a half years ago and just could not believe that it was me. No way would the border guards let me in with this passport. My drivers license shows an obese me also. But the point is I got to look at the me not but 9 months ago. What the hell am I doing today, sabotaging myself and undoing what good the WLS had done for me so far. I'm having a hard time falling asleep right now as all I want to do is get home and get my act together. Get back to the gym and get myself back in gear. I want to live. I love being able to walk around not in pain, I never want to ride a wheelchair again. I actually sat on the sand in Santa Barbara a week ago and played in the sand with my grandchildren. That was a miracle in itself. We even went to Universal Studio and I rode rides that I thought I'ld never be able to ride and I walked and walked and had so much energy and so much fun. I love this new life of mine, so I must get my act together. No time for depression, no time for self pity, no time for regrets of what I have been putting in my mouth for the past three weeks. It's time to take care of this body of mine. Without this body, there is no me.