NEED TO GET A GRIP Haven't blogged awhile. Paying the price for it. There is no taking vacation from Living After WLS. I have absolutely lost my mind. Lost a 100 pounds and then stupidly acting like, okay I'm done with this. Yeah right. Here I am injecting myself with insulin again............trying to bring the numbers down. What next, heh..........congestive heart failure again and all the symptoms of diabetes and .........a huge surgercal scar, a rearranged stomach done for what??????? I must be losing my mind. Big wakeup call today when I crossed the border to Juarez. Pulled out my passport and looked at the picture of 400 lb plus me taken two and a half years ago and just could not believe that it was me. No way would the border guards let me in with this passport. My drivers license shows an obese me also. But the point is I got to look at the me not but 9 months ago. What the hell am I doing today, sabotaging myself and undoing what good the WLS had done for me so far. I'm having a hard time falling asleep right now as all I want to do is get home and get my act together. Get back to the gym and get myself back in gear. I want to live. I love being able to walk around not in pain, I never want to ride a wheelchair again. I actually sat on the sand in Santa Barbara a week ago and played in the sand with my grandchildren. That was a miracle in itself. We even went to Universal Studio and I rode rides that I thought I'ld never be able to ride and I walked and walked and had so much energy and so much fun. I love this new life of mine, so I must get my act together. No time for depression, no time for self pity, no time for regrets of what I have been putting in my mouth for the past three weeks. It's time to take care of this body of mine. Without this body, there is no me.