31 Weeks Post Op
I've been in San Antonio for 1 month now. Unbelievable. Time sure goes by quickly. Things are okay. I do miss Hawaii. Miss seeing the ocean and definetly miss the cool breeze. It's so hot here, I wish I could breath some real air instead of this air conditioning. It's kind of nutso as I get cold at times in the house due to the air conditioning and it is set at 75 degrees. So I go out on the back porch for a few minutes, get warmed up, then am too hot so I have to go back in the air conditioning and then get too cold again and go back outside to get warm again for a few minutes. My husband thinks I lost it as before I had to have the air condition blasting cause I was always too hot.
This week I haven't been doing too well with controlling my eating. I need to eat more protein as I am snacking on pretzels for no other reason than I am snacking like a fool knowing that it is definitely a no no. I lost a 100 pounds and I guess I think I can take a break from my WLS routine or something. Well, today is a new day and I am going to stick to my WLS routine as I have at least 70-80 pounds to go and there just is no vacation on this journey. I just don't know what I was thinking. It's those old habits creeping back. Scary how I can sabotage myself.
I like the new me, the thinner me. I like how I look. I feel so alive and so healthy. No way am I going back to the MO unhealthy me. This LAWLS is not easy. It takes a lot of will power to stay on track. I will do this. For Me. I have to if I want to be able to live.
I think I'll go to the Mall and find me some MO people and just watch them shopping. That should be a good reality check for me. It will help me remember how I struggled to shop. In fact I remember just shopping in places where there was a grocery cart so I had something to throw my purse in and lean on as I walked around. At the Mall I had to find a bench every so often to sit and rest. Maybe I don't need to go to the Mall, just writing about it is giving me flash backs. Maybe I need to blog more and definitely drop in to the LAWLS neighborhood more often.
I guess it's all about getting ones priorities straight. I can not be too busy for me. First me and then everything else. That was the core of my problem before, setting myself first. I have been falling back into that old habit, doing for others and setting myself on the shelf for laters, when I have time. Goodness, what am I thinking. I don't have time to waste. This is it. I'm 55 years old not 20, 30 or 40. There are so many more things I want to do in this life time. I will stop this back paddling and get myself moving forward again. Being alive is just too wonderful. WLS is nothing to play around with. I made a commitment when I decided to have this surgery and I am recommitting myself to the Journey today.
Date of Surgery 12/02/05: 349.7 pounds
Today 07/15/06 : 238 pounds
Goodbye Forever : 111.7 pounds
I've been in San Antonio for 1 month now. Unbelievable. Time sure goes by quickly. Things are okay. I do miss Hawaii. Miss seeing the ocean and definetly miss the cool breeze. It's so hot here, I wish I could breath some real air instead of this air conditioning. It's kind of nutso as I get cold at times in the house due to the air conditioning and it is set at 75 degrees. So I go out on the back porch for a few minutes, get warmed up, then am too hot so I have to go back in the air conditioning and then get too cold again and go back outside to get warm again for a few minutes. My husband thinks I lost it as before I had to have the air condition blasting cause I was always too hot.
This week I haven't been doing too well with controlling my eating. I need to eat more protein as I am snacking on pretzels for no other reason than I am snacking like a fool knowing that it is definitely a no no. I lost a 100 pounds and I guess I think I can take a break from my WLS routine or something. Well, today is a new day and I am going to stick to my WLS routine as I have at least 70-80 pounds to go and there just is no vacation on this journey. I just don't know what I was thinking. It's those old habits creeping back. Scary how I can sabotage myself.
I like the new me, the thinner me. I like how I look. I feel so alive and so healthy. No way am I going back to the MO unhealthy me. This LAWLS is not easy. It takes a lot of will power to stay on track. I will do this. For Me. I have to if I want to be able to live.
I think I'll go to the Mall and find me some MO people and just watch them shopping. That should be a good reality check for me. It will help me remember how I struggled to shop. In fact I remember just shopping in places where there was a grocery cart so I had something to throw my purse in and lean on as I walked around. At the Mall I had to find a bench every so often to sit and rest. Maybe I don't need to go to the Mall, just writing about it is giving me flash backs. Maybe I need to blog more and definitely drop in to the LAWLS neighborhood more often.
I guess it's all about getting ones priorities straight. I can not be too busy for me. First me and then everything else. That was the core of my problem before, setting myself first. I have been falling back into that old habit, doing for others and setting myself on the shelf for laters, when I have time. Goodness, what am I thinking. I don't have time to waste. This is it. I'm 55 years old not 20, 30 or 40. There are so many more things I want to do in this life time. I will stop this back paddling and get myself moving forward again. Being alive is just too wonderful. WLS is nothing to play around with. I made a commitment when I decided to have this surgery and I am recommitting myself to the Journey today.
Date of Surgery 12/02/05: 349.7 pounds
Today 07/15/06 : 238 pounds
Goodbye Forever : 111.7 pounds
posted by Melissa @ 1:36 AM
7 Comments:
At 5:52 AM,
Anonymous said…
stop that eating rightnow. You have come to far. You will get used to the humidity and when you do, life will not be so bad. It took me the first summer that I moved back from San Diego to Arkansas to get used to this humidity and excessive heat. Hang on, things will get better.
At 6:55 PM,
Sandi Hooper said…
Sorry I haven't been able to keep up with all the wls blogging since the neighborhood started up! You've been doing great Meliss--don't quit now!
I think the idea of going people watching is brilliant! (as Kim would say)--I watched a couple at a concert in the park Saturday night. They were both huge. They started eating before the chairs were unpacked. She went to the concession stand and got a huge ice cream. Then they drank 2 bottles of wine and the eating really started!
That was a real eye opener for me, Meliss. That used to BE ME! YIKES!!! I never want to eat and drink like that again. Frankly, it disgusted me. And I felt sorrow for these two. I hope that they are enjoying today because the future looks pretty scary.
So, let's you and me make a pact, my dear sistah: let us resolve not to let the old ways creep back into our lives! SAY NO TO WHITE FLOUR AND WHITE SUGAR!!! Stick with your program and you cannot fail!
Love you. Glad to now that you're still posting here. I'll check back soon.
At 5:05 AM,
zelda1 said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
At 5:12 AM,
Anonymous said…
By the way, join a support group, wls group, a great way to stay motivated and meet new friends and have you tried the obesityhelp.com. They have a over 50 board and those guys and gals are so cool and keep you informed and motitivated and I bet you will meet some from around where you live. Please drop in, I'm there too.
At 6:12 PM,
SignGurl said…
Nice to meet you! I'm awaiting insurance approval for WLS. I'll be checking back.
At 5:41 AM,
Holly said…
in visiting my friend in the hospital lately, i always wear jeans. when i go to the grocery store, i dress warmly. people think i am out of my freaking mind. my poor mother almost had a heat stroke on the way home from svannah because i kept turning the a/c down... just too damned cold!
watching the MO as a previously MO person is difficult. on one hand you can see the pain, shame, discomfort on their face, on the other you think "you know, there is something you can do for yourself!" or even "PLEASE let me tell you what i did to make my life over!" but i don't. because eventually they will decide, or the won't. and it is up to them. my decision isn't right for everyone... but it sure as hell was right for me.
At 7:56 PM,
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