Today is my anniversary, we've been married 34 years. Hubby fell in love with me when I was Twiggy size. Stayed with me as I blossomed through four pregnancies. Told me he loved me when diabetes and hypothyroidism and depression kicked in. Told myself I was fat fat fat and how inthe world could he handle all this fat. He told me he loved me no matter how fat I got. He held my fat hand in public. He bathed my fat body in the hospital and at home when I couldn't reach all over. He was my caregiver.

November 12, 2003, that all changed. While delivering mail, a woman sideswiped his mail truck and my husband was critically injured. His neck was sprained and he lost his memory. He was as a 7 year old boy. He was afraid of strangers and clung to me like a child and panicked when I was not around. I had two choices, get myself well enough to take care of myself and him or eat myself to death in despair and depression. I chose to get myself well, no matter what it took. I didn't have time to be sick, my fat was irrevalent, I had to do what I had to do. As my husband got better, I was stressing from working and caring for him. On December 2, 2004, I drove myself and him to the doctor's, told him I had to see the doctor. Went in and they couldn't find my pulse, don't ask me how I got there, I don't know, God drove. Administered oxygen, I had enough in me for me to call my sis to come get my husband, I was fighting with the paramedics over my cell phone as they tried to put the oxygen mask back on my face. I was taken by ambulance from the doctor's office to the hospital. I was fighting with the paramedics cause they wouldn't let my husband into the ambulance.

I was 382 plus pounds and dying. I wasn't ready to die. Who was going to take care of my husband? The kids? No, they all on the mainland and they have their own lives. I had to get my act together, this was my last chance at life. Took leave from work. Thus Medifast and preparation for WLS immediately upon leaving the hospital. I worked hard to be well enough for surgery. Spent the whole year preparing my husband for the surgery. He is able to take care of himself, his memory is partially back, still dependent on me though. He now is medically retired from the post office. Nothing was going wrong I told myself. Everything will be fine. I needed to get physically well. For me.

Thank God I came through WLS fine. Yeah, I had to stay in ICU for two days due to high blood pressure. It was high before the surgery, the doctor told me that I could have a stroke during the surgery because of it, I told him to do the surgery, I'll be fine. I'll have a stroke if it's meant to be. Came to in ICU and was pissed cause it was not in my plan, it was supposed to be recovery then my hospital room. The high blood pressure I believe was because they wouldn't let my husband in to see me. As soon as my eyes opened and I realised where they had me, I was asking them to unhook me and let me out of the bed, I wanted my husband, I had to see that he was okay. I was the patient from hell until they let him in. Wallah, as soon as I saw him my blood pressure started to lower and I let them do their thing.

Regrets. None at all. I have life. That is worth every stitch on my belly. A longer life with my hubby. A longer life with my kids and grandkids.

Every day I wake up with a burst of energy, feeling hopeful and just so happy to be alive. Many new dreams of what I would like to do in the years to come. Heh, the sky is the limit with the new body I will have. Slowly my diabetes is getting better and my blood pressure is improving. Sleeping better now too. I am not going back to the fat ole me, to the fat life that was killing me. God has given me another chance at living and I am going to make the most of his precious gift to me.

It is truly a Happy Anniversary for me and my hubby.

New life. New me.

Melissa