22 Weeks Post Op
Doing fine, feeling great, no complaints. I've decided that so what if I didn't lose any weight this week, at least I didn't gain any. Positive thinking right. I can see my collarbones now. Amazing. I can't believe I have collarbones. They were hidden so long. It's these subtle changes that give me assurance that I am doing things right. Those numbers on the scale tend to stress me out when they don't move.
Mentally I am also doing fine. I'm in a peaceful mode right now, which is nice. Hate it when I am bouncing off the wall with my self imposed dramas. I could be dubbed the "drama queen" at times. Get myself worked up to a tizzy, for something that the following week I will have a hard time remembering about.
Not sweating the small stuff is good advice. Takes so much energy to be mad about something. Got to save that anger energy for something worthwhile. Life just too short for dwelling on insignificant junk.
I love it when I'm in this peaceful mode. Things seem to work out more smoothly. Nothing is impossible to do and if I don't want to do anything it is okay, too.
I'm reading "Discover the Joy of Being the Person God Made You to Be" by Joyce Meyer. It is a very thought provoking book. Joyce Meyer does a series of books, they have helped me alot in finding peace in my life.
From her book, " Jesus came to bring restoration to our lives. One of the things He came to restore is a healthy balanced self-image".
I know that what we think of ourselves affects how we live our lives. For a long time, I didn't like my obese self. Maybe I smiled and everything outside looked good to the world, but inside I was crying. I was not happy. I did not like the body I was living in. I tolerated my big body, after all what other choice did I have if I wanted to be alive. What a limited life I had in my big body. Now when I look at my presurgery pictures, it is a shock to me to see how big I got, it is a wonder to me how I was able to function daily. It hurts to face the fact that I abused the body I had, I did not take care of it as I should have. It was a slow suicide, this killing of myself. It's the truth, I was killing myself slowly, feeding the diseases that ravished my body with unhealthy food and not exercising.
I know I need to let this all go, I am as I journal, this painful past of me. I have moved on but I feel it is good at times to reflect what was, then turn and face the rainbows of my life and keep walking forward towards my goal of having a healthy life.
Slowly as the pounds fall off and my body changes and my health gets better, I am learning to love my body again.
"Happiness and joy do not come from the outside. They come from within. They are a conscious decision, a deliberate choice, one that we make ourselves each day we live" J.M.
Doing fine, feeling great, no complaints. I've decided that so what if I didn't lose any weight this week, at least I didn't gain any. Positive thinking right. I can see my collarbones now. Amazing. I can't believe I have collarbones. They were hidden so long. It's these subtle changes that give me assurance that I am doing things right. Those numbers on the scale tend to stress me out when they don't move.
Mentally I am also doing fine. I'm in a peaceful mode right now, which is nice. Hate it when I am bouncing off the wall with my self imposed dramas. I could be dubbed the "drama queen" at times. Get myself worked up to a tizzy, for something that the following week I will have a hard time remembering about.
Not sweating the small stuff is good advice. Takes so much energy to be mad about something. Got to save that anger energy for something worthwhile. Life just too short for dwelling on insignificant junk.
I love it when I'm in this peaceful mode. Things seem to work out more smoothly. Nothing is impossible to do and if I don't want to do anything it is okay, too.
I'm reading "Discover the Joy of Being the Person God Made You to Be" by Joyce Meyer. It is a very thought provoking book. Joyce Meyer does a series of books, they have helped me alot in finding peace in my life.
From her book, " Jesus came to bring restoration to our lives. One of the things He came to restore is a healthy balanced self-image".
I know that what we think of ourselves affects how we live our lives. For a long time, I didn't like my obese self. Maybe I smiled and everything outside looked good to the world, but inside I was crying. I was not happy. I did not like the body I was living in. I tolerated my big body, after all what other choice did I have if I wanted to be alive. What a limited life I had in my big body. Now when I look at my presurgery pictures, it is a shock to me to see how big I got, it is a wonder to me how I was able to function daily. It hurts to face the fact that I abused the body I had, I did not take care of it as I should have. It was a slow suicide, this killing of myself. It's the truth, I was killing myself slowly, feeding the diseases that ravished my body with unhealthy food and not exercising.
I know I need to let this all go, I am as I journal, this painful past of me. I have moved on but I feel it is good at times to reflect what was, then turn and face the rainbows of my life and keep walking forward towards my goal of having a healthy life.
Slowly as the pounds fall off and my body changes and my health gets better, I am learning to love my body again.
"Happiness and joy do not come from the outside. They come from within. They are a conscious decision, a deliberate choice, one that we make ourselves each day we live" J.M.
posted by Melissa @ 1:55 AM
3 Comments:
At 1:37 PM,
Nanci said…
I love Joyce Meyer. My sister, who is disabled, watches her all the time. She has helped her find peace and restored her soul.
You are so right about happiness coming from within. My sister almost died a few years ago, her no good cheating husband left her while she was in the hospital, and stole all her Social Security checks. She has lost her leg to diabetes and is in a wheelchair, has no money and lives with her son & his family.
But she is happier now than I have ever seen her in her entire life. Because she has found acceptance and peace. She has realized (and I think Joyce Meyer has helped her with this)that despite all her limitations, she is WORTH a lot. There are a lot of people who value and love her and God loves her. Now it is only a matter of her learning to love herself.
We are so often so critical of ourselves. Meliss, I found that putting my trust in God has given me great strength and helped me let go of my fears. Things aren't always perfect; but God is always there to help us get through it.
Love ya....
At 5:33 AM,
Jenn said…
Congratulations on achieving this realization, Melissa! You truly will be in a much better place because of it!
At 7:22 PM,
Jessica6903 said…
I love Joyce Meyer. I just started reading her latest book, "Look Great, Feel Great: 12 Keys to Enjoying a Healthy Life Now." So far I am really enjoying it. I also just rented the audiobook "Approval Addiction". Her book "Battlefield of the Mind" changed my husband! I still need to read it, but I've heard it's really good, too. I love the way she tells you how it is! I just started to record her on the DVR so I can watch her while on the elliptical. Your posts always put things in perspective and I love that. Thanks for all your wisdom.
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