Thoughts
I am now 14 weeks post op. Yesterday a coworker who I have not seen for about a year stopped me in the supermarket saying, "Meliss, is that you? My goodness you really look different, I almost didn't recognize you!" She hasn't been the only one who has looked at me, up and down, with mouth wide open in shock. I can relate after all I look in the mirror and wonder, "Is that me?", the other thing I recently found myself doing is staring at my hands on the steering wheel while driving and asking myself, "are these skinny hands mine?". I am trying to get a grip with not being obesely fat any more, I still fat and got a way to go, but it's not the same. I have at least 100 pounds more to lose and I feeling so unreal already. Getting used to the changes to my body is really mindbogging. You know it's that old dieting way of thinking "this not going last long and I going gain it all back". It feels so unreal knowing that I not going be obese any more. Got to peek in the mirror and touch my face often to make sure that this is me. That I not going wake up from a dream and that this new me, is really me. Got to get used to the new me, cause this is for real.
I am now 14 weeks post op. Yesterday a coworker who I have not seen for about a year stopped me in the supermarket saying, "Meliss, is that you? My goodness you really look different, I almost didn't recognize you!" She hasn't been the only one who has looked at me, up and down, with mouth wide open in shock. I can relate after all I look in the mirror and wonder, "Is that me?", the other thing I recently found myself doing is staring at my hands on the steering wheel while driving and asking myself, "are these skinny hands mine?". I am trying to get a grip with not being obesely fat any more, I still fat and got a way to go, but it's not the same. I have at least 100 pounds more to lose and I feeling so unreal already. Getting used to the changes to my body is really mindbogging. You know it's that old dieting way of thinking "this not going last long and I going gain it all back". It feels so unreal knowing that I not going be obese any more. Got to peek in the mirror and touch my face often to make sure that this is me. That I not going wake up from a dream and that this new me, is really me. Got to get used to the new me, cause this is for real.
posted by Melissa @ 3:51 AM
2 Comments:
At 7:12 AM,
Holly said…
the more you lose the more unreal it feels. i saw my reflection in my tinted minivan window yesterday. i was wearing a ball cap and a v-necked shirt and i thought "oh my god, look at my neck and collarbones... how beautiful" i stood there and touched the bones in my neck and the lines of my shoulder and nearly cried.
i don't feel the same way when i look at my face, but as each new bone and muscle and contour of my body is revealed i kind of fall in love with it. there are the parts i don't like.. the sagging skin in my upper thighs the weird texture to my tummy skin, but that is more than made up by the beautiful contour of my knee, or the flex of muscle in my forearm.
LOL i'm sappy in love with my body. i'm such a goon.
At 7:25 PM,
Sandi Hooper said…
YEEEEEHAAAAAAAAAAA Melissa! Way to go girl. Keep it going, don't let up... At first I cringed when people commented on my loss. Now I kind of like it a little--especially if it's good. But the real reward is the gained health. I'm so happy for YOU, for ME, for us ALL! We did it! We're living the miracle.
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