16 Weeks Post OP

It has been a roller coaster ride since the day of my WLS. Right now I'm on the top highest loop of the roller coaster just bursting with inner joy and happiness. I have been in the dumps, wanting to get off the ride and just hide in the closet because I was having a hard time accepting that this is the new me and that I finally have control over my health and weight. The LAWL Neighborhood sharing and all of you who have interacted with me on my blog, has helped to remove the self imposed obstacles that were holding me back from facing and accepting the new me. I needed to interact big time with positive people who have been through this surgery. I needed to hear over and over that my feelings were okay and that there are others who share the same feelings and doubts that I have.

This journey after WLS can be difficult and trying at times. I know that I can not walk it alone. I need continued support and nurturing, and encouragement and I need a swift kick when I fall off the ride and need more than anything else to climb back on. No one can understand what I am going through better than someone who has been through WLS. I needed so much to hear that "my skin is glowing", acknowledgement that I lost weight and that I am looking healthier. I needed someone to say this is not a dream, that this is for real, and that this time around I will succeed. I have come to the realization that I can win the battle I have been fighting with the grim reaper and that more sand has been poured into my hourglass.

I had to stop packing and running all over the place, and take a moment to reflect on the positive changes in my life. I had to put me first, and not feel guilty for doing so. Discovering the new me has been eye opener. I am like the caterpillar turning into a beautiful butterfly. I am like the snake shedding her old skin and coming into the new. I am like a newly hatched chick learning to spread it's wings or the newborn pony trying to walk on wobbly legs. I am in a new chapter in the book of my life. I have chosen to take control of how this chapter will be written with God guiding me and with all of you earthly angels holding my hand and cheering me along the way. To come to this realization, is hard to put into words, all I can say is that I have found inner peace. I have sat at death's door for too many years. It is time for my spirit to soar, as I have been given another chance to live.

No longer will I sit under the stormy clouds conjured up in my mind. Instead I choose to reach for the sparkling beautifully hued rainbows and dare to hope and dream of better tomorrows.

Hawaiian Parable: Each child born has at birth, a Bowl of Perfect Light. If he tends his light it will grow in strength and he can do all things, swim with the shark, fly with the birds, knows and understands all things. If, however, he becomes envious or jealous, he drops a stone into his Bowl of Light and some of the Light goes out. If he continues to put stones in the Bowl of Light, the Light will go out and he will become a stone. A stone does not grow, nor does it move. If at anytime he tires of being a stone, all he has to do is turn the bowl upside down and the stones will fall away and the Light will grow once more.

I have turned over my bowl, my Light is growing once more.